Troubles With The Curve

This is more of a rant and rave. Don’t expect this one to be my best. There is also some foul language in this post. Reader discretion is advised.

From https://company-bumpers.fandom.com/ Replace ‘Movie’ with ‘Blog Post’

As mentioned earlier in some posts, I don’t regard my creativity as a high priority as of now. Just this blog and the reformation of Super Human Intelligence Towards Exile (fka Shite). With the second mention, I don’t really try to ‘stop the world’ to work on that project. My goal is to have about 10-12 songs totaling 65+ minutes by the end of 2021. And if I don’t make that goal, oh well. And with this blog, I’m trying for 3+ posts per month and more events coming up. If I miss 3 or more posts in a month, oh boo hoo hoo. 10 years ago, I was very dedicated to finishing novel number two and three and in 2012, I released Mourning In Hochington Volume Two and Thirteen Years of Gray.

One of my proprieties of sorts is to work at least 230 hours per month and take home at least $3600 a month. Although we are slowly walking into normal and moderately faster than I thought, still, concerts and sports games with 50,000 people in the arena are still a few months away. This, of course, is pending on what state or country you live in. I live in Michigan and our Governor cannot push her strict and sometimes draconian restrictions. Myself, I’m not too comfortable with entering a small bar filled with people at this time (unless it’s Milf night and I’m the only dude there, you got it). Currently, with our entertainment options still somewhat limited, it opens more opportunity for me to invest more. Don’t fret folks, I have an investing article on the way. Stay tuned!

However, quite a few things are causing me some trouble as I keep my top priority going. Lack of sleep, ADHD, severe allergies and recently dizzy spells due to me getting one of the vaccines (Moderna). To make this more readable, I’ll do the bullet points:

  • Lack of sleep – Any work day that I can sleep 6+ hours is good. If I get a day that is 5.5 hours or less, that sucks but I try to move forward. I’m not the biggest fan of 2-4 days straight with less than 6-hour sleeping days. And I’m not so willing to do a 12-hour day of work (If I can get out of it) or indulge in any activity that requires serious or critical thinking (like reading). So, I find myself watching YouTube shows about 911 calls. One night, at 12:30AM, I listened to the Debbie Stevens 911 call and had some trouble falling asleep that night. Boy, Donna Reneau is a cunt! Gotta stop watching this bullshit, but I think I’m too addicted. And I just can’t get good sleep like everybody else in this world. Ugh…
  • ADHD – My brain is just a damn mess. I do my job and there are times where my brain is in a mental overload. I find myself thinking of some events in my past, mainly ones that were dramatic or embarrassing moments in my life. And if I were to do this or say this, what would that change? Or could I’ve done something to prevent me from dealing with that troubling moment, whether I was the one who got myself into the mess. I also found myself thinking about how I’ll deal with certain folks in my family or friends of family who get super excited to see me. But I’m not excited to see them. Most times than not, it doesn’t end well. That’s one of the minuses of my march to normal. I find myself thinking about it more due to a recent Tom Leykis podcast. He mentioned how his excitement of going back to normal dwindled down on dealing with Trump Supporters and people being plain dicks.
  • Severe allergies – I have been sneezing like a motherfucker lately. In an average 12-hour day, I sneeze an average of 8 times a day (not really keeping hard data on this one). There has been a few days were I had a sneezing fit and had to walk out of the assembly line to sneeze in the corner. Then I got to grab some paper towel and blow my nose so I can attempt to breathe normally. Can’t do so with a stuffy nose and wearing a face mask. There was a time were paper towel was nowhere near my line. I told everyone on the floor I’d BRB so I can go into the break room and get paper towel. I came back to a pissy co-worker wondering where I was at. Been taking over-the-counter allergy pills, but it’s not working as much as I want it to.
  • Dizzy spells – This one is recent and I’m part of the 12 percent who reported dizziness after receiving the Moderna vaccine. On this day of the blog posting, I fell dizzy just an hour before I showed up to the job. I did think of calling off but I thought whatever it was, it would go away soon. Sadly not, I went to work dizzy as hell and my arms felt like Jello. I was moving slower than most of the co-workers when they are on the way to the break room (and trust me, they move s l o w ). Luckily, there were some folks from laid-off lines there cleaning. So, I was able to use the option to leave without any consequences. Sadly, I only will get paid for the half-hour I was there.

I also find myself getting really upset at trivial shit. Like, when I unlock my phone and type in the wrong digit. A couple of times I got mad and literally muttered to my phone, “Fuck you, I didn’t press 6, I pressed 3! You prick!”

God damn, what the hell is wrong with me?

This time last year of this post, late April 2020, I was actually chill. All I really did was Food Delivery from 430p-9p on Wednesday-Sunday and spent most of my mornings working out. With the afternoons mainly on LinkedIn Learning. I was quite happy and peppy during those times. I find myself thinking, If I keep at this priority of 230+ hours/month while I keep investing and not make any serious money mistakes, I could have good dividends come my way and I can work just an average of 160-180 hours/month and still maintain my lifestyle. That also comes with the possibility of rising inflation and a big possibility of tax hikes. And when those two do arrive, I will need to work 230+ hours/month whether I like it or not. And whether the massive obstacles do come to make things worse.

I currently live in a wealthy part of Macomb County. Have found myself thinking about moving to a cheaper city or even a roommate house. But the latter has me thinking about my privacy, I kinda like it. And I lived alone for 10 years already (had a few GFs but the relationships didn’t last long) and just going from that to roomies will be a troubling conversion. Plus, I don’t want to deal with the stress of moving. My move to my current place in 2015 caused a lot of 3-hour sleeping days and quite a few troubles. Even after I moved in, I saw a whole week in a row with 4 -hour or less sleeping days.

My current place (a rental) has some troubles with maintenance being late. But I think it’s more of lack of willing workers. I’ve been seeing a shitload of we’re hiring signs in my area for corporate restaurants and fast food joints. I ordered a pick-up at Chipotle near me and it took them nearly 20 minutes past the promised time. The folks there didn’t suck at the job, it was just lack of employees. Don’t get it wrong, the auto industry is having troubles with microchips. It hasn’t affected my line so much now, but it can. And pretty soon, you might see me making tacos at Chipotle. I ain’t fucking special.

With the motivation, I suppose we all have troubles staying motivated. Some days, you just can’t get all those things on that to-do list done. The day prior of this blog post, I felt good. I didn’t have a stuffy nose, hardly sneezed, no physical troubles at all, no serious mental troubles, I was just flying away on the assembly line. Drove home at 2am singing along to some Steve Winwood. Then on 12:25p today, a dizzy spell hit me hard and I just couldn’t get going.

I got home and took a nap. Then around 7pm, I was thinking to myself, “Why the fuck can I just stay motivated? Why can’t I just keep going with no serious troubles whatsoever? Why is that people can just move along with their goals but with me, there’s a big lava moat in the way with just a little string for me to walk on?”

Trust me, I know I’m not the only one dealing with these troubles. I just don’t like it when something has to get in the way. Perhaps I’m being a whiny bitch.

Peace, Love and Fractions

Robbie T.

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