Almost made a seriously bad decision in 2019.

One of the things I’ve often heard in my life is, “we have a problem here.” This often occurs when I get something good or I think I’m advancing a few steps in life, something just has to go wrong. At my primary job, I got promoted to Jr. Process Tech where I would handle these Otto Robots that does the job of a tugger can do. These move little pallets and take them to a place designated to a warehouse.

One week into this nice job, I had been informed that in order to keep the job, I have to leave the union and surrender my seniority. Thought about doing that, but I also heard from a few folks that they were ending the job and therefore, send me somewhere else, terminate my employment or otherwise make me a supervisor. The company that I work for had been asking line managers and even techs to jump into supervisor positions, and I feared they will do that to me eventually. So in the end of it all, I painfully said no. And went back to a job that anybody can do. One of the other reasons why I also said no is I was eligible for a full Process Tech job, which I later got in late June.

But during that time from late April to late June, I founding myself fuming on the very idea of how I had this good job and something had to go wrong. “We have a problem here.” Of course, life comes with problems and some who are reading this might say that I’m just a little bitch pissing and moaning. Perhaps I am…

I got the Process Tech Job and it was a tough one to learn most things. I know I stepped on some toes and made a few people upset. I kinda felt like Cory from Trailer Park Boys, a dumbo fucking things up. Or a better comparison, Officer Tina Hanlon of The Shield season 5 and 6, always fucking up. And I was told that some higher-ups at my job had discussed my poor performance around fall time.

During late April to late June and even a few troubling days, I found myself thinking about saying fuck it and go to Las Vegas… and never return. There was no serious plan, I was going to take the auto-pay off of my utilities, my rent and take care of a few loose ends. Then, I was going to text a few family and friends and tell them I love them, but I’m going to Vegas and I ain’t coming back and next destroy the phone.

There was no plan of Vegas besides taking all my money and having some of it transferred to a bank while I have a few spending dollars for fun. When I run out, head to an ATM and get more (trying to avoid fees). I was gonna rent a motel room on a weekly basis and blow my savings on cocaine and hookers. I was going to do psychedelic drugs and bang all the cougars who were willing to sell themselves. Would I try to find a job? I probably would. If some place in Vegas was running Otto Robots, I suppose I had some experience in that, heh-heh. Otherwise, who knows. And yes, suicide was also a thought. Do some hard drugs and fall asleep, never to wake up.

All the way into late February, I became better at the Process Tech job and calling for help a little less. I was able to run routines on a Faunc Robot when it messed up. However, during that time, I was seeing what was going on in Italy due to the Covid-19 crisis. And I thought what was going on there was going to happen here eventually. And I might be losing my Process Tech job and perhaps overall my employment.

In mid-March, I got a call from the HR office and met a kind black gentleman who told me the great news that after the proposed layoff my company was having, I would return to operations, back to a job that anyone could do. This wasn’t a surprise to me. The person who told me the great news was kind and I’m not angry at him about it, just like the woman who gave me the bad news in late April. Shit happens…

And also during that time, the layoffs were officially starting on March 19th and they were looking to start production on March 31. I knew that wasn’t going to happen and I thought we would come back in late April at best. I was a month off, we returned in late May.

And the person who replaced me as the Jr. Process Tech still has the job. I kinda wished I said yes now instead of painfully saying no.

I’m glad I have not done what I was planning to do due to hard times. And yes, some folks would say, “Oh, you wanted to basically kill yourself because you had a problem with a new job. Stop being a pussy!” And trust me, I kinda understand it. All I could say is I had enough of “We have a problem here.”

I would hate to be homeless in Vegas during the Covid-19 situation (I would likely end up like that if I haven’t died yet). Besides, I don’t want my family freaking out due to me being missing and later getting a phone call from the Las Vegas Police saying I was found dead in some strange way (would likely happen too.)

Although it’s not Vegas, I found myself watching this. Shit is getting very bad in some of these major cities!

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